Talking to My Children About Prayer

I’ve struggled over the last few years about how to teach my children about prayer. Prayer is definitely something I want them to be familiar with. I want them to be able to talk to God all through the day about whatever. I want them to be able to see God answer their prayers and be wowed by His power. The struggle comes, however, in how to explain that God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we expect, or even hope. How do I teach them to have faith that God can do anything and yet explain that He doesn’t always intervene?

I always try to include my children in things I am praying about so they can wait and watch with me to see what God does. They have prayed with me about sick people getting well, about a friend doing well on an important test, and they prayed and prayed with me about Adoption #3 and that God would bring us a baby soon. Some of those prayers were met with immediate, and what we humans would see as positive, answers. Some of them we had to wait for a long time for an answer, and some of those prayers were met with silence or even with a “no.” Because I have a strong faith in God, I am able to process the silence or the “no” with the thought that God has a better plan. However, I wonder if my kids can grasp those things.

At times I want to give them somewhat of a “warning” before they pray about something. “Now, remember guys, God doesn’t always give us what we ask.” And then I question myself, “Why can’t I just let them pray in faith? Why do I feel like I need to protect them from God?” In a sense this shows my lack of faith in God and His promises. So what should I do? The best thing to do is remind myself what God says about prayer and teach these truths to them…with no “warnings” attached!

The Bible has a lot to say about prayer. Here are a few things I will teach my kids.

We are instructed in God’s Word to pray. We are told in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray constantly.” James tells us in chapter 5, verses 13-18 that we should pray when someone is sick or suffering. He tells us we should confess our sins to each other and to pray for one another, and gives us Elijah as an example. We are told “the intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful.”
Jesus prayed and taught others how to pray. Jesus prayed throughout His time on earth. Luke 5:15 tell us that Jesus often went away to pray. In Matthew 6 Jesus is teaching the people how to pray and gives instructions on how to pray (what we know as The Lord’s Prayer). In John 17 Jesus is praying to the Father about Himself, about His disciples, and about all believers. We also see an example of Him crying out to God in prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-41).
We know God gives good gifts and works for our good. James 1:22 says, “Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights; with Him there is no variation or shadow cast by turning.” Romans 8:28 says, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God.” We also know God can give us more than we can ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21).
In the end we must say, “Your will be done.” Again, when it is all said and done, we must follow Jesus’ example in the garden and pray that His will be done (Matthew 26:42). We must trust that God is in control, and whether the answer is “yes,” “no,” or “wait,” we have to trust it was His will and His will for us is good! All throughout the Bible we see that God is faithful and good (Lamentations 3:22-26), just (Deuteronomy 32:4), loving (1 John 4:16) and sovereign (1 Timothy 6:15). We must trust His plan for us.

So the next time my oldest son tells me he is praying that God will bring us a baby girl (as he did earlier in the week), I will encourage him to pray without giving a “warning,” and I will wait with him to see the will of God for our family. I will teach him what the Bible says about prayer and about faith. I will teach him Romans 12:12: “Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.” And I will joyfully tell all three of my kids that they were answers to prayer! Three very good gifts from God!

-Christy Davis

Christy is a wife (minister’s wife), mother (home school mom and adoptive mom), and most importantly a follower of Christ. She lives in Nashville with her husband, Daniel, and three kids, Hannah, Benjamin, and Malachi. Christy loves to talk about and write about her experiences with adoption and things God teaches her daily about living a godly life as a wife and mother. Daniel and Christy called 9th and O their church home for about 4 years (2002-2006), and they are so thankful for the ministry of that church.