My Refuge: Quieting Chaos

Trust in Him at all times you people;
Pour your hearts out to Him for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:8

“Did you grab the flashlights…and the extra batteries?” Our stockpile of tornado supplies grew with every trip to the storage room, while sirens screamed for us to hurry up. Tucked away in the concrete belly of our house, the winds made their tempers known to window panes and siding, all while the rain tried its best to drown out the meteorologist speaking into the night.

“Mom, what’s the noise?”

“Just the wind, kiddo, lie back down.”

My son’s head rested on his pillow until the noise came again, and again, too repetitive and rhythmic for the wind. My questioning eye caught my husband’s, “Is someone knocking on the door in this weather?”

The rapping came again, hurried and louder, sifting through the crevices between floorboards and ceiling.

Our security camera revealed a young woman standing on the front porch, pleading to come inside. The rain fell in a solid sheet behind her, hiding driveways and roads, and any hint of how she came to be here.

Who is she?

(At this point in the story, I feel like I should pause to share a minor detail about myself-I love watching crime and psychological thrillers. So when a woman lost in a storm came knocking on my door, my mind went directly to the plot line: home invasion disguised as a woman in need. Burly men must be waiting in the shadows…)

After speaking to our mysterious visitor through our security camera and assessing the view from the living room window, my husband opened the door, and the young woman, soaked to the bone, crossed the threshold.

I waited and listened as the door shut behind her, kids still tucked away in the room below.

Hoping to outrun the storm, Jane left work early and started making her way home to her mom and baby. When the downpour blanketed her windshield, hiding the road ahead, she pulled into the nearest driveway and found herself at our door.

“I’m terrified of tornadoes,” her quivering voice echoed down the hall.

The three of us made our way down to the basement. A sense of relief swept over Jane’s face when she saw little faces peeking out beneath blankets and stuffed animals. (A sign that my husband and I were NOT the main suspects of a crime thriller either!)

When the sirens ended and the rain lifted, I gave Jane my phone number, “Let me know you made it home. I want to know you’re safe.” Within an hour, I received a text with a picture of Jane cuddling a squishy baby in her arms. Home safe and sound.

I think about Jane from time to time and question what I would have done in her position. Would I have sought protection in the midst of the storm, or would I try to push through a situation with limited vision and keep myself exposed to elements bent on destruction?

Well, when you put it that way…seems like an easy choice…

But then I have to ask myself, how do I actually respond to the storms of life, especially the ones brewing in my thoughts, that shape viewpoints and actions? The ones fed by the reality of hard circumstances that leave me frustrated, beaten down, and vulnerable. “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair…struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). Yet there are days when I feel completely undone.

There are only two choices in the face of hardship: to pursue hollow things or seek refuge in the hallowed One.

Do I truly recognize the danger of depending on my own humanity? Too often, I find myself searching for comfort in distraction and busyness, passing the time, but it doesn’t ease the ache. Empty pursuits that lead to empty things.  Perhaps it’s the myth rolling around in the back of my mind, “that time heals all wounds”…no, it doesn’t, but Jesus does.

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from Him.

Truly He is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in Him at all times you people;
Pour your hearts out to Him
for God is our refuge.”

Psalm 62:5-8

Do you ever read the Bible and wonder why the authors included certain details? Why does God make it a point to say He is our refuge? Because He knows we need Him and we need to hear this truth, time and time again. He knows the arrows of the enemy will continue to fly this side of heaven, aimed intentionally to pierce our hearts and ravage our hope (Psalm 91:5).

They will come, but God is our defender who speaks truth and life over us.

The weight of the day, or the season, or years past, can feel unbearable. Heartache wrapped up in words and phrases like grief, anger, broken relationships, anxiety,  illness, rejection, betrayal, trauma, financial crisis, loneliness…all echo our need for God himself. We crave God, the very One who created us.  His nature is to protect, strengthen, comfort, and give rest to the weary soul. His presence infuses hope into the darkest moments.

Why then do we resist it at times?

Jesus extends the invitation, “come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Scripture beckons us to “cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (I Peter 5:7). Jesus doesn’t filter the invitation based on the type of burden or anxiety, if it’s too messy, too much or too insignificant. No, He just says come and receive. Sit in his presence because He will sit in our chaos and remind us of who we are and to whom we belong.

God is the refuge for our thoughts, the fortress for our identity, the rock for our salvation, for we are His people. Whatever situation we find ourselves in, we can ”pour our hearts out to Him, because God is our refuge”. He is the one who collects all of my tears and puts them in his bottle (Psalm 56:8).

-Sarah Morris

Sarah enjoys reading with a great cup of coffee and is firm believer that Autumn is the best season. She has been a member of NAOBC for 7 years, serving alongside her husband, Pastor Ryan, in the children’s ministry, and they have two children.